'An Experiment with Silence’

A bright sunny morning greeted Room Number-206 as Abi woke up to a glass of vibrant green liquid placed on his bedside table for his first drink of the day. It was to be his pre-breakfast herbal drink. The color reminded him of the patina settled on the big, well-crafted artistic copper lamp his mother would light every day in the morning at home. He absolutely hated the sight of the slimy layer on the lamps.

“Yuck… this… again?” he said, his face showing his displeasure.

“C’mon Abi... You should be used to the taste by now” said the nurse, somewhere in her early thirties, as she walked in with a smile.

“Do I have to drink this everyday…? Everything should have a cheat day. Even my personal trainer allows me a double cheese paneer sandwich once a week…” protested Abi, sulking.

“Uff… tantrums again. You are no better than my six-year-old. You knew the drill when you signed up for this right? After all, this is not your first trip here…” responded the nurse with a tone of mockery escaping her otherwise careful speech, dropping two green coloured spirulina tablets to a cylindrical plastic cup, whose colour again reminded him of the patina back home. 

Abi was a regular visitor to the Ayurdham. Every time he had an injury, which would be at least once a year, he would end up in the ayurdham under the able care of his doctor friend Govind Bhat for treatment, who often laughed saying, “You are the greatest contributor to my Ayurdham”. The staff was used to his naughtiness, cheeky games and several pranks he played on them every time he was there. All of them had a hearty laugh at the end of the day. 

“Why should everything be green in colour in an Ayurdham? Is it like if something is not green, people don’t consider it organic? Bloody promotional gimmicks…” he thought as he waited for the nurse leave the room.

“I’m not leaving… not until you finish your drink. Doctor’s orders…” said the nurse as if she had read his mind. The previous day he had been caught watering the plant on his window sill with the juice. 

Abi smiled shyly as he picked up the glass, covered his nose with his thumb and index fingers and gulped down the whole glass at one go. 

“Atta boy...” said the nurse, patting him on his head.

“Apna time aayega…” said Abi as he gave a scorn to the smiling nurse who was amused at his discomfort. This was a game he played with her ritualistically, every time he was there. Both were movie buffs. Hence, they would come up with popular lines from different movies in the middle of their conversations and the other would have to recognize the movie from the line. It was a challenge. The one who lost owed the other a favor that could be availed at any point. It started as a game when Abi was there the first time and had been a bonding factor for the two since.

“Gully Boy…” said the nurse instantly. “Better luck next time.” She laughed as she walked out with his chart.

Abi had ruptured the ligaments of his knee in a bike accident, a couple of weeks ago. Though detected soon after the incident, he had gone about his business as usual. Injuries were a part and parcel of his life and he did not mind the mild discomforts in his body parts as he normally laughed at them saying, “They remind me of their presence every now and then”. But this injury was not the one to go away on its own. His knee cap had been replaced after a sports injury a couple of years ago forcing him to retire from active sports completely. The following year, a ligament tear during a trek in the hills of the Benog wildlife sanctuary had tenderized the joint to the extent that Dr. Govind had advised him against any sporting activities and treks for at least a year.

“They are still weak. Your built is also on the bigger side and that exerts a lot of pressure on your knee joints. Your knees are not like the spare parts of your car that once they are damaged, you replace them with new genuine parts from the auto part stores you so love hanging around. These are manufactured only once and any tinkering in their structure alters their use in many ways. Use your bloody brain before doing something…” he had thundered. 

This time, even his regular movements had exerted so much stress on his knees that the injury aggravated to a point where he was in so much pain that moving around, even with a limp was difficult. Hesitantly he had called Dr. Govind for an appointment, who after a second round of thorough scolding, had admitted him in his Ayurdham immediately. After the initial rounds of the expected Ali vs Frazer bouts on the first two days, the doctor had come to terms with his Frazer’s complete inability to comply with his viewpoints regarding his body. This was not new for the doctor who has seen his patient grow from a naughty school kid, when his father had first brought him to his clinic with a fractured right elbow, to a young man now, trying to find his footing in the world, with his varied set of interests.

As Abi struggled his way into the wheelchair he so enjoyed roaming in, Dr. Govind walked in with his characteristic smile and vibrance he was known for. 

“Good morning… Looks like you are already ready for your usual rounds Swamiji...” wished the doctor with a mischievous spark in his voice, letting Abi know of one of his pranks being busted. 

“Aham Brahmasmi Doc” replied Abi in a shaky voice, putting up a brave face like a school kid’s last attempt at avoiding punishment after getting caught for bunking classes.

Abi had played a prank on one of the patients the previous day posing to be a Godman who could cure illness with water from a magical flask. His acting was so convincing that the patient had refused to take his medicines in the evening, stating that he was completely cured by the blessing of the Swamiji.

“In spite of keeping you occupied the whole day with different treatments and therapies, how do you manage to pull such pranks on others?” laughed the doctor, inspecting Abi’s knee. 

“Well, you see, I’m a natural doc” Abi raised his collar in a mock gesture. 

“That you are...” laughed the doctor. “But you should be careful. Your yesterday’s victim is a very sensitive guy. His life has been at crossroads of late. He has even attempted to commit suicide a couple of times before. A very gullible guy…” said the doctor, stretching Abi’s leg to examine the progress.

“Not a good time for stories Doc… I have challenged Mark in 201 for a wheelchair race today” said Abi as he winked at the nurse who shared a hearty laugh.

“This is important Abi…” said the doctor in a stern voice. “This guy, Niranjan, was madly in love with a girl for a couple of years. He had seen her for the first time at an art fair and instantly fell for her dainty looks and chisled features. Though they spent sometime in the same art class, he didn’t have the courage to approach her. He followed her everywhere from the beauty parlour to the coffee shop. When not in sight, he dreamt of being with her, cuddling with her passionately at night feeling her every breath. He longed to be with her, but still couldn’t muster the strength to talk to her. Over a period of time, he built a small imaginative world with her at the core of its existence. From what I could gather, the once creative artist who excelled at several art forms including sand art, carving, painting and many more slowly diminished into the oblivion. The creativity in him took a backseat while the newly formed secret lover started dictating terms. The portraits he painted transformed from beautiful well defined faces and pleasant nature imagery with bright colours and brilliant strokes to abstract paintings with darker shades of blue, black and red overshadowing his art. His parents complained of him spending most of his time at home isolating himself in his room.

Eventually, she got married to a friend of his and he went mad at the sight of the love of his life walking the pheras with someone else. His desire for her did not let him be the same old self again. Unable to bear the pain of separation, he tried to end it all with a knife slicing his wrist. That attempt failed as his father noticed the awkward silence in his room and peeped in, only to find him drenched in his own blood. The second time was even more dramatic when he tried another failed attempt by jumping off a train but ended up with broken bones and a fractured skull. He has been my patient since…” said the doctor, ticking something on the chart. “Just let him be Abi… he’s transgressed several boundaries for her and in short, been through a lot at this young age” concluded the doctor with a sympathetic expression on his face.

“Hmmm…” said Abi with his index finger scratching his beard. His right eye was half closed and his lips mimicked a pout as he assumed a thinking pose. " Mysterious, insanely talented, reserve, gullible, delutional at times…" he mumbled to himself, one by one, as the doctor tried to make sense of his words. "Just the kind…” he remarked loudly.

“Whatever you are thinking, drop it. I do not want to hear any of your playful suggestions. Life is not all about fun and pranks, Abi. Sometimes, you should learn to respect others feelings.” said the doctor in a firm voice sensing something cooking in Abi’s naughty head. 

“Wanna bet, doc?” asked Abi, winking at the doctor this time. This was a routine. Both Dr. Govind and Abi would indulge in betting on everything they felt worthy of a bet. Though both of them were veterans of the sport, sometimes they would take things too far and end up with a few curses. But, would brush them aside with a classic shrug and a typical Abi’s statement, “All in a game.” 

“No, Not with him. He hasn’t properly mingled with anyone here for the past one month and with your yesterday’s genius prank, might not trust anyone again for a long time too” snapped the doctor.

“Oh C’mon! I promise I’ll not go too far. As a matter of fact, it can be therapeutic as well.” pressed Abi. He was good with his persuasion skills and Dr. Govind had known Abi long enough to trust him when he thought he had a brilliant idea. But, it was a life in question here. Any missed step and the patient could end up in a serious trauma or even worse. “No trials, all reals this time” said Abi, making a puppy face, using the local gully cricket analogy to indicate that he will not goof up.

Dr. Govind thought for a while. “Fine…But with strict ground rules. You will consult me before making any move. No sudden shockers and improvisations allowed. He is my patient and I am responsible for his physical as well as mental health. So, be careful. If he doesn’t respond well to your therapy or whatever you want to call it, I will pull the plug and it is over that very moment. Understood?” 

Abi nodded, with a mock salute in response.

“Now for the reward. Hmmm… Let me think… If you win, no herbal drink for a week and if I win, I’ll change the password of my office router which you use without my permission” said the doctor with a thumbs up to a stunned Abi. 

“How do you know?” asked a visibly shaken Abi, scratching his head.

“I own the place, remember?” said the doctor as he walked out of the room, leaving Abi to plot his next move.

Over the next couple of hours, Abi had chalked out a strategy. His big plan was to force Niranjan to open up about the whole incident, which was a task in itself. During the earlier conversation, he had sensed that such people tend to bottle up all emotions creating an impermeable barrier. With further probing he was proved right. Even after visiting several psychologists and physiotherapists, the barrier had fended off all kinds of attacks, thus, blocking all forms of input channels.

“That is my target. If I can develop cracks in the dam, then, I need not worry about the flow of water. Once the emotions are out, the channel is open for new, fresh, positive energy to be stored. Problem solved” explained Abi to Dr. Govind, who looked relatively pleased with the idea. 

The first move was to gather a suitable backup. Mark, a psychology student was a good prospect. Abi had developed a great bond with him over the two weeks of his stay there. He had leverage too as he had won their last wheelchair race and it was time for Mark to pay up. Next, it was time for him to make up for the prank. 

The following morning, after the oil massage, Abi, with a chess boards in his lap, wheeled his wheelchair towards Niranjan, sitting all to himself, besides a water cooler. 

“Hi” he greeted as he neared him. There was no reply. He noticed Niranjan shifting in his chair, tightening his posture, making his discomfort evident. 

“The other day it was all fun da… Nothing personal… No hard feelings…” said Abi, casually extending his right hand for a shake of hands, which was royally ignored. His silence was intriguing.

“Okay… care for a game of chess? I’m actually looking for partners” asked Abi, setting the pieces on the chessboard. The reply was dead silence again. Abi continued setting the pawns on the chessboard. Once done, he made the first move from the white’s side, “e4” he said, inviting Niranjan to make a move from the black’s end. 

Niranjan stared at the board intently without any noticeable change in his body posture. Abi was waiting for that one positive stroke. He didn’t want to push it. He waited patiently. After a good ten minutes, Niranjan stood up from his chair and quietly walked off. 

Abi made a mental note, “First attempt, Failure.”

The next couple of days followed attempts with Chinese checkers, jigsaw puzzles and UNO cards. All met with the same dead silence, an impassive stare for a few minutes and then a walk out. The awkward change in this routine was the day he tried a paint brush and a small canvas. On this day, he was repelled with an angry stare, a gaze so powerful that it could bore a hole in Abi's face had it been concentrated for a longer period. His facial muscles trembled with anger like on a muscle relaxing vibrator on full blast, before a walk past at serious pace.

“Time for the showdown… Time to reveal my ‘Hukum Ka Ikka’ tomorrow” thought Abi on his way back from his sixth failed attempt.

Dr. Govind was observing every move keenly. He had taken a big gamble. Though Niranjan had made significant progress physically since his admission two months ago, his mental health was not showing improvement. Not much was known about Niranjan's past except from his troubled childhood where he was bullied for being puny in built, him finding solace in art at a very young age and channelized all his effort to excel at any form he felt he had to master, which reflected in his brilliance in art. Such a big move without a proper patient history was very risky. But Dr. Govind was worried. He feared for his patient. Though he had eyes on Niranjan at all points of time in the hospital, it wouldn’t be so once he would be discharged. There was nothing, as of then, that could assure him of Niranjan not trying to end his life again.  Abi’s idea had come about the same time as he was quickly running out of options. The idea had merit. If it managed to find the chink in the armor, then, he would have a foundation to build upon. In spite of keeping a poker-face during the discussions, Dr. Govind was hoping for Abi’s idea to work.

Abi’s final plan was inspired from one of his favorite movies, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. “Always Bollywood mate, always” he said with pride, while explaining the idea to Mark, who readily agreed.

The next morning, the wheelchair warrior duo started their roll towards the enemy camp, the chair adjacent to the water cooler. They had marked the spot as Niranjan’s bunker from nine to ten in the morning, unless he was rudely interrupted by the officer in command of the mission. The equipment check had taken place the previous night as both the warriors watched the ZNMD movie, making sure they made mental notes of every detail of the idea. With a good night’s sleep and a strong coordinated front, the duo looked all set to launch the surprise attack on the locked down enemy. As they slowly approached the target, they positioned themselves carefully on either sides of the target, securing it from all angles. Now, they were all set for the ‘Fire in the hole’.

“Hey Mark, do you mind playing a game da?” asked Abi in a voice and tone that made any person sitting in the vicinity take notice of his words.

“Sounds like fun…” replied Mark with the same enthusiasm.

“The rules are pretty simple. You have to say the first thing that comes to mind as soon as I say a word. No time to think. In case of any delay, you lose the game. You still think you can manage…? Abi asked Mark in a mocking tone.

“You challenging me, mate…? Bring it on… You start and I’ll follow suit” retorted Mark in mock irritation.

“Okay… Let me start with something general… Nature” said Abi.

“Peace” came the response.

“Movie” came the next word. “Rocky” came the instant reply. 

“Boxer” was next in row. “Tyson” was the prompt response. The series continued. Both the warriors carefully searched for any mild change in every muscle fiber of Niranjan’s body. It was evident that, though not vocal about it, Niranjan was all ears, avoiding any eye contact and patiently waiting for the next word to pop out of Abi’s mouth. He was playing the game mentally. The fish had taken the bait. 

The pair continued their mission with the words progressing from a general scenario skillfully moving towards the specific topic of relationship. It was human relations and bondings between different individuals that had to be tapped into in Niranjan’s case. As the game progressed into the business end, Abi signalled Mark to take a more personal and intimate route.

“Relation” asked Abi. “Love” answered Mark. 

There was flinch. An involuntary response to a completely unexpected stimulus. The first missile had done its damage. Now, it was time to go for the kill.

“Affection” said Abi, his voice loud, but filled with affection and care. “Lovers” was the response. “Marriage” was the next word and by now, both of them noticed a tear drop rolling down Niranjan’s stone faced cheek. The dam had cracked. The team had successfully made inroads into the enemy camp. The job was only half done yet. It was time to drill further, carve a way for the pent-up emotions to drain out. 

Dr. Govind came out of his hideout to take control of the situation. His gamble had paid off. Now, a baseline had been established on with a more concrete personality could be developed by the professionals. Though not within the conventional rules of the game, Abi’s movie tricks had made the desired impact and more. He moved near Niranjan’s ears and whispered. “She’s gone… she married your friend right in front of your eyes. You were right there but couldn’t do anything about it. You feel hurt, despondent. There’s no hope left in this relationship anymore. You want to undo this incident, cancel the wedding, talk to her about what you feel towards her. But, it is too late now. Let her go…let her flow in the form of tears from your eyes. Let her move out of your life…”

By this time, a steady flow of tears had started pouring down from Niranjan’s eyes. The dam had completely broken down. The missiles had done their trick and hit the right targets. Niranjan hugged Dr. Govind so tight that he almost felt choked. The tears never stopped. It was all the pent-up emotion making their way out. It would take a while.

Mark was touched. His face expressed an array of emotions. It was his first case study and a very tough one indeed. No one spoke for the next few minutes.

Once Niranjan had been handed over to the able hands of psychotherapists, the doctor congratulated the duo on their massive achievement. “Ah… remember the deal” said Abi to the doctor with a fist bump.

“What deal?” asked the doctor quickly as he walked away laughing.