'Life, revealed!'

"Noooo, not that hand, you idiot..." she said with her hands on her hips as she tried hard not to kick me. Her red nail paint shone brighter in the slant rays of the setting sun. The clinging of her earrings broke the silence of the calm evening as the cool breeze carried in its folds, the essence of seasalt from the Vagator beach. "You can't even choose the hand right, forget the finger" she continued as she rubbed her index finger on her forehead in anger. The corner of her lips curved everytime she tried to express her displeasure. Her hair kissed her cheeks as she tried to tuck it behind her ears. "I would be doomed if I had a lover like you... I quit" she said, as she squatted on the sandy beach floor.

Tia and I shared a special bond. A marine biologist by profession, I had known her from the days when she could barely distinguish fresh water fishes from the marine ones. A relationship like ours had to have a linking factor, lest the distance and time ought to push it into the realm of the familiar list of 'good, bygone friendships'. Thus, started her journey as my 'Loveguru', a role she tried hard to excel in, but found herself facing newer obstacles everytime I met her. This time, as always, she was confident of teaching me all about how to propose to a girl and as usual, it was harder than expected.

Life had taken a lot many twists and turns from the last time we met and suddenly had found a mysterious way to enlighten me with its so called 'life lessons'. The first one of the day being, 

'A girl can never teach you to impress another girl.' 

Even after years of her constantly bugging me with her love hacks, I was still unsure of what she was actually trying to teach me.

"What's love?" she asked. Immediately, I learnt my second lesson of the day,

'Girls have a way of asking questions a boy can never find answers to, even if he manages to meditate his whole life under a Bodhi tree.'

Yet, undeterred, I put on my thinking hat, closed my eyes, opened my arms and came up with the best filmy dialogue I could remember, that fit the situation. "Pyaar, pyaar hotha hai..." And even before I could continue, I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head as my upper body jolted forward with a sudden impact. "Smack" she had hit me on the back of my head. "Woh...now I'm convinced that I definitely need a pair of glasses... I didn't see that coming" I said as I tried to hide the pain and make light of the, actually, strong hit.

"Nautanki..." she said, as she again sat watching the fading sun. The sky had turned into a dark tinge of orange by now. The waves had picked up the cue and were lashing harder on the rocks nearby. 

"You still didn't answer my question..." she pressed as she played with her bangle that jingled everytime she touched it.

"Aah...Love... It's...an illusion" I said.

"An illusion...Hmmm...Maybe..." her voice tapering at the end.

"A rather mysterious one I guess" she said after a while cutting through the awkward silence.

Tia had been in a beautiful relationship with Aman for the past four years. Aman was in the merchant navy and the love for the sea and its mysteries had brought the otherwise poles apart personalitiss together.

"'The moon in the darkness, the warmth on a cold chilly night etc etc', all mere words..." I scoffed. "By the way, what's with you today? You seem a little off? I'm guessing it's that full fish you had for lunch" I said with a funny face and was immediately made to regret it. 

Lesson number three

'When a girl repeats anything you say, that further leads to an awkward silence, it is a signal to wait patiently, for something deep is going to unravel itself.'

"You never get it, do you? It takes a lot to understand someone's feelings and you damn suck at it" she blurted out, before getting up and storming in the direction of the rocks.

I was initially taken aback from the sudden outburst but recovered well enough in the nick of time to follow her, dusting the wet sand off my body.The day marched towards twilight and the embrace of darkness. I strangely found a similarity in my situation wherein the black cloak was on its way to engulf my evening. 

"Arre...Sorry yaar...abi maaf bi kardo madamji" I yelled, trying to catch up with her. "Is something wrong? Can I help?" I asked as soon as I reached her side, trying to make amends.

"You won't get it... you are too cold for things like these. For the lack of a better option around, I'll have to make do with an emotionless idiot like you..." she said slapping her forehead in a mock gesture.

"Now listen...Hmm...Aman is returning next week."

"Woh.. great news...fun resumes ek chote se break k baad...Yoohoo..." I said with a broad smile, excited.

She gave me a long impassive stare. I restrained myself and immediately gave her a sheepish smile.

"You should be pumped...why the long face?" I asked, puzzled at the expression.

"I'm not sure anymore..." she said. "Everything is fine between us. We love each other, understand the other's likes and dislikes, wish to spend time in each other company...all that is fine. He spends six months at sea while I live my life differently here. Then one day, all of a sudden, he comes back... and..." she stopped midway, trying hard to find the right words to express herself.

"You feel like he is intruding your life, hijacking your personal space...invading your privacy" I hesitantly completed the sentence for her.

I noticed Tia's eyes widen in surprise, a confused expression dominating her face as she nodded, feebly. 

The stars had by now started to twinkle in the blackish blue sky. The sea crabs were venturing out from the crevices, trying to enjoy every bit of their new found, time bound, freedom. For the next five minutes, the silence was disturbed only by the lashing waves and the occasional sound of crickets. Tia sat staring at the dark sea, her face bereft of any emotion. The wind had intensified with the passage of time and the darkness was accompanied with a change in the weather as well.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked, trying to clear the air.

 "I don't know..." she exhaled deeply. "I mean, I still love him. Frankly, sometimes I feel life is all about compromises..." she started walking towards the parking lot, her footprints being washed away by the waves.

Now, 'compromise' is a thin line to walk upon. One side of the spectrum is a  symbolic way of the person being considerate enough to see that the other person has a right to be happy just as he/she has, and such a stand is evidence of the mindset that says, "It's okay to bend to prevent a crack in the relationship". On the other hand, individualism kicks in on all fronts, with its voice loud and clear saying, "It's your life. Live it the way you want to." Realising that I am not the most sensitive of individuals around, I decided to do what I do best in such situations, stay put, waiting for it to pass. The sound of the waves hitting the rocks intensified as the night started growing older. But the momentary gloom changed as the rice lights of a shack shone at a distance reminding us of food.

Before this incident, I had often heard talks of purity of love, commitment in a relationship, passion in the journey of love and so on. Confusions were a part of the deal and sometimes, compromises were the smaller hits you take for the greater good. But, never had I realised the intensity of those hits nor the depth of the impact. It's only in this sequence of events, I realised that they run as deep as questioning the foundations of a relationship altogether.

I had had a fair share of life lessons for one day but the evening had another thing coming. The last one that included a part of my self-realisation needing immediate action was, 'I need a new Loveguru...!'