'The Mask unravels...'

"Aaj daaru tera bhai pilayega…” said the man trying to balance a bottle of Blender’s Pride on his head with one leg in the air, mimicking what could hardly be considered a bhangra pose, desperately trying to show that he was not drunk. “Yeh tera bhai, aaj tujhe pilayega bi aur khilayega bi. Today I’m very happy that you are here…” This was Hakku's routine after a couple of his pegs that would put patiala pegs to shame. The dramatic side of this otherwise massive six feet three inches tall grumpy giant, would see the light only after his so called 'amrut' found its way into his stomach, opening the box of miracles which, in his words, was the key to his “andruni khazana”.

“Oye, Ranveer Singh could balance a diya on the tip of his sword in Padmavat, aur tera yaar Hardeep Singh, a bottle of BP on his head, that too at 2AM. Now tell who is better, Ranveer or Hardeep?” asked the Punjab- da- puttar in his pure Delhi accent with his right hand twirling his mustache to create an impact. 

“Relax Hakku, Ranveer is still a novice when compared to your khazana. You are truly blessed by Alladdin” I said adding to the already erupting laughter at Hakku’s nakras. 

I was on my way to the beautiful hills of Rishikesh when I decided to take a quick detour to catch up with my three musketeers in Delhi. Hardeep Singh, popularly called Hakku, was an IAS aspirant, who had taken a couple of years off after his Masters in Economics from a reputed institution in Pune, to prepare for his civil service exams. According to him, there was no better place to do that than the national capital that caters to more than thirty percent of IAS aspirants with its abundantly available coaching classes. Hakku was of the belief that, cracking the civil service examinations was more about understanding the patterns rather than solving the questions. Second in line was, Varun, an engineer with a reputed company in Gurugram. A national level chess player, his mantra in life was very simple, “Work hard but party harder”. This self proclaimed 'authentic Bangalorean' knew his way around good alcohol and prettier girls. Unfortunately for him, he was soon to be put under a leash as he had recently decided to tie the knot with his childhood friend, Shikha, who had joined him that day. The third musketeer of this team was Neha Rawat, a hardcore tomboy who strongly believed in the proverb, “eint ka javab pathar se”. Riding was her passion, which was evident in the way she rode her Royal Enfield Classic 500, she called 'Majnu'. Her love for bikes was hard to miss, considering the way she treated Majnu. With a Masters in Criminology, this shrewd beauty with brains could be as tough as anyone in a bar fight.

“Oye, Alladdin ille, inda Hardeep Singh oru dadave sonna… something something maadri… purunjada?” retorted Hakku who suddenly shifted from the body double of Ranveer Singh into a multilingual Tamil actor, trying hard to remember a famous dialogue from Rajnikanth's movie, ‘Basha'.

“Hakku, I beg you… Please don’t set foot in Tamil Nadu ever in your life. With this broken Tamil dialogues of yours, I can never guarantee your safety there…” I said, folding my hands in a mock gesture, unable to control my laughter.

“Shikha, pass me my phone. Let me capture this epic moment where my Punjabi pra turns into a Tamil tambi…” said Varun, pulling Hakku’s leg further.

Hakku had a flair for languages. But the problem was his temper. His inability to master languages could be solely attributed to his lack of patience to understand the nuances associated with each language. His ability to pick up lines of different languages from various simple regular conversations was exceptional as was his temper that bordered a bipolar disorder. 

A couple of drinks later, the gang decided to retire for the night with Varun and Shikha taking the huge master bedroom on the first floor and Hakku, who was barely in his senses, calling it a night on the very couch he had settled himself on, as soon as he walked in at four, the previous evening.

I noticed Neha quietly sneaking out into the balcony with a pack of cigarettes which was very much unlike her. Given a choice, she would be the first one to go to bed as she was the only early bird in our gang. For her, the fresh morning breeze was her energizer and yoga at that time, was the perfect health therapy. With my curious self, literally pulling me out of the balcony door, I ended up standing next to her with a sheepish smile and a glass of fizzled out coke to go with it.

“So, what’s bothering my ‘Jhansi ki Rani'?” I asked trying to look cool sipping the black liquid that barely qualified as coke.

“I’m in love…” came the instant reply. 

I almost choked on the black liquid I had hardly sipped. My curious self, suddenly evaporated like the smoke she just exhaled from her cigarette drag, forming various patterns in the air. My confidence fizzled out in competition with the coke in the glass I was holding. I struggled to grab a feel of the last word of her sentence. I could sense an arrow of commitment shot straight at me and my legs, instead of understanding the signal to run, was suddenly on protest, refusing to budge.

“Aaaah…Okay. Good for you” I said, unable to find better words to appreciate her straight-forwardness.

Sensing something was amiss, she looked at my puzzled face and in a clarifying tone said, “Not with you, dumbo”. I visibly heaved a sigh of relief. “I know you well enough to understand that I shouldn’t search for an oasis in the desert” she said laughing at her own joke. “I understand your priorities man, totally cool with your non- commitment policy. You are safe for now. However, I gotta confess that I did fall for you a long time ago though…” she winked chuckling, hitting me on the back of my head.

“You will always be my beautiful Delhiwali girlfriend” I said finding my rhythm back, now that I was in the clear. “Whose the lucky guy? Kabi hame bhi milwao…” I asked in a tone which forced her cheeks to blush. 

“That moron on the couch…” she pointed at the sleeping giant who was probably still mumbling about how good an actor he was. 

“Hhhhaaaakkkkuuuu…” I shouted in astonishment as she hit me on my shoulders indicating to keep my voice down. “Seriously…? How? I mean, When?” I fumbled for the right question.

“Chuck that. Help me out... I’m in a fix. I don’t know if he feels the same way for me. What if he doesn’t? It will definitely impact our friendship. I do not want to loose a great person like him…” she continued puffing smoke at a rapid rate.

Still recovering from the shock, I made a suggestion that I felt, would be the go to choice for anyone in my position. “Tell him... Haan toh haan, warna bhai bana lena…” I laughed, pointing at the rakhi my sister had tied on rakshabhandan.

“I’m serious Biddu. Stop acting like a monkey for once and help me out” she ordered almost burning my wrist with her cigarette.

The next half hour was spent discussing about the various possibilities of proposing to Hakku the following morning. I suggested that it was better late than never and so it was finally decided that Neha would talk to Hakku the next day.

All the time we spent discussing about how Neha gradually fell for Hakku over time, I was wondering as to how this rugged, thick bearded giant had managed to tame the ever flamboyant, firebrand Neha in this mysterious realm of love. Under normal circumstances, the sound of his thundering voice coupled with his strong muscular built ran shivers down anyone’s spine when this giant roared in anger. His bulky frame and tightened muscles, clearly indicated the tension created in his body as a result of his legendary hot headedness, every time he was mentally disturbed. His show of brute strength, the result of his long hours spent at the gym, was good enough to force any girl turn the other way, fifty meters from Hakku. But, it looked like Neha had fallen for these very qualities and even managed to dig beyond his rocky exterior into the beautiful person that was hidden behind Hakku's serious masquerade.

The next morning, as the sun started its daily walk from the east towards the west, I was all packed for an emergency evacuation, should the proposal go south. I was the talented ‘LoveGuru’ ,with zero experience in this field, who had, in a way, proposed this brilliant idea. As soon as Hakku woke up, Neha walked straight to him in her signature denims and a beautiful white hakoba top. She looked at me for any signs of confidence as I showed a double thumbs up with both my hands fuelling her engine to walk faster. With her every step, my heart started pounding fearing the worse. This time around, my legs decided against the strike and acted with autonomy, voluntarily walking towards the main door at a speed matching Neha’s every step. 

Once in front of Hakku, who was still trying to differentiate his right hand from the left, a result of the last night's hangover, Neha pointed her index finger at him in her characteristic style, said, “ Hakku, I’m in love with you. I want to spend my whole life with you. Cut all the bullshit and give me a straight yes or no…”

“God… that was direct” I said as my legs caught the cue, doubling its pace even as my eyes strenuously tried to assess every change in the movement of Hakku's facial muscles. The actor in him, suddenly seemed to have deserted his side at the most important time of his life. His face turned blank. I could feel his muscles tighten and his face turn red. “Bachale Bhagwaan…” I mumbled under my breath as I could partially see Varun and Shikha alighting the stairs through the corner of my eye.

As I neared the door with my right hand reaching for the door handle, my legs came to an abrupt halt, jolting my upper body to almost a fall.  I couldn't believe my eyes. Hardeep Singh had planted his first kiss on the red rosy lips of the ever beautiful Neha Rawat sealing the bond. My first assignment as LoveGuru was a massive success. Varun and Shikha cheered out loud as Hakku kissed Neha again, as both of them held each other in a tight embrace. It was a magic moment I had least expected a couple of minutes ago. Neha had broken through the ever strong ‘Hakku mask'.

True to my nature, I made a slow, but stylish walk back towards the couch to soak up all the appreciation. 

Biddu at his royal best!!!